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Month: June 2024

Breaking the Silence

Afraid of speaking and having my words twisted

Afraid of the message my silence sends

Grieved to have relationship taken from me

Grieved, with no option to make amends

But I am a child of God

Broken, yet I am made whole

Cut off from the future I wanted

But good is secured for my soul.

Perplexed when I look for good reason

Perplexed by deceit and known lies

Angry for bridges now burning

Angry for lost family ties

Guilty of worry and doubting

Guilty, my mind looks for blame

Humbled, belittled and sorry

Humbled by effort so lame

But I am a child of God

Broken, yet I am made whole

Cut off from the future I wanted

But good is secured for my soul.

Wretched am I from betrayal.

Wretched and harmed in the fight

Frantic that time has no answers

Franticly praying at night

But I am a child of God

Broken, yet I am made whole

Cut off from the future I wanted

But good is secured for my soul.

And cheer can be found for the taking

Cheer. Jesus has lifted my head

Joy, brought fresh every morning

Joy overcomes and every dread

Yes, I am a child of my Father

 I shall not be moved from His side

He has clothed me with mercy and gladness

Light for my darkness supplied.

Yes, I am a child of God

Broken, yet I am made whole

Cut off from the future I wanted

But good is secured for my soul.

Note from Rita:

Friends who know me well (and some who barely know me) are aware that one of my daughters decided to estrange herself from me, my husband and nearly all of our family. I’ve gone from stunned and frozen to restless and searching – and back again several times for nearly eight years.

Breaking the silence is risky, but I’m ready. The status quo isn’t good enough for a child of the almighty and everlasting God. It isn’t about healing. God is taking care of that. It isn’t about winning, giving up or giving in. God fights those battles that need fighting. And He always wins. I’m tempted to defend myself, but I have no weapon other than my Father’s promises, and anyway, I’m weary from the inner battle.

Breaking the silence does not mean that I am ready to talk about it to just anybody. It simply means that my words won’t be filtered by what I think my daughter needs to hear. That might sound strange, unless you have parented a prodigal.

Surprised? That I would think about parenting a prodigal? Hasn’t the prodigal decided they don’t need parenting? But I’m still parenting – from a distance. Giving her “space.” So I’ve been parenting in silence. In my prayers. In preparation for “some day.” That won’t change.

Breaking the silence is all about surrendering . . . to God’s new design on my life.

Yes, I am a child of God

Broken, yet I am made whole

Cut off from the future I wanted

But good is secured for my soul.

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Almost There!

My 2nd Real Life. Real Ladies book of short stories is within weeks of being published. The edited manuscript was emailed to the publisher weeks ago. One would think that the hard work is done where I am concerned.

Not!

There’s still work to be done. The cover needs to be designed and I barely have a clue about what I want. The publisher will put me in touch with the cover designer soon, and I have to have a better clue before that email or phone call. (Note to self: Remember to pray about the cover and for the cover designer.)

I’m excited to be planning a book signing/book launch party, but wait? Fewer than half of the 21 women who contributed stories have returned their publishing agreement to me. No books are printed until that happens. Then there is the tiny issue of scheduling. What is the best date? What is the best time? God is in these stories. I am sure of it, and my faith is bigger than a mustard seed, but I am finding it a struggle to plan and coordinate an event where there are 21 essential female players.

“One day at a time,” I tell myself. “One task at a time.”

The publisher sent an email earlier in the week, asking me to complete an author information form. Nothing daunting. Information I need to receive royalties. Copyright stuff. And part of that form needs to include 2 descriptions of the book for Amazon. A short description and a long description. My task for today.

The short description only (ha ha) took me two hours and several edits. It has to fit into a small space, yet give an adequate and inviting description. Tight writing is a challenge.

I felt relief having completed the first assignment and moved the curser into the next big blank space on the template. More room. More words for the longer description, but that too was a challenge. A longer description of the book? It’s an anthology. Where will the words come from? I believed that the short description summed it up just fine. What more could I say? I started and deleted several times over the next hour. I hadn’t had breakfast. It was now after lunchtime , and my husband had eaten the last of the leftover roast beef.

I wrote hungry, and now this assignment felt like work, because I’d rather stick to writing stories and not write about my writing. How does one describe these stories?

But this particular assignment turned out to be a joy . . . a pleasant trip down memory lane and a look forward to the day when these stories (28 of them) will be published and recorded in the Library of Congress. That’s cool! And no matter what anyone says, these ladies and their stories have added to the kingdom of God with a testimony of His goodness.

Here is what I wrote as a short description:

How do you see God? As a fairytale character? A problem fixer who never seems to fix any of your troubles? Or do you sense God’s heart when you can’t see His hands working for your good?

These motivational stories help women see that Jesus is ALL there, ALL the time—in your mountains of trouble, pesky molehills and the good stuff between.

 . . . And my long description:

This book of true, short stories begins by telling about an innocent girl and her puppy. Sweet. The second story takes you to a dreaded place, a hospital, where one can’t be sure what to fear most – the noisy, coffin-like machine or the probability of a cancer diagnosis.

Turn the page and another little girl named Stella, with one affectionate statement, will lift you to a happier place. Ah! The good stuff that makes the awful bearable. Vicky, in her story, doesn’t tell us whether it was an addiction, or a longing to be with the “in” crowd that led her to problem drinking. She was slow in waking to her circumstance. Or was she just in time? Next, a single mother battles with her past and resists seeing a future.

A grandmother recalls the antics of her daughters, the “thinker” and the “comic.” Another real life, real lady admits to falling prey to a Picasso-like flirt. Spoiler alert: She lives to write about it. And we all know the saying that when you marry a man, you marry his family. Never was that more true than in Sandra’s story. Janice isn’t able to share her story without crying. So she wrote it. And the title of Aimee’s story, “Bittersweet,” tells you that she’s had mountains of trouble, stomped out her share of molehills and still came out appreciating the good stuff between.

“Choosing Hope” sounds helpful and healthy as long as you’ve got something to hold on to. But could I do it in the middle of my disaster? Marcia’s “Choosing Hope” sounds an awful lot like choosing to trust. Rebecca gives in to her anxiety. That’s what she does, knowing she will miss out on the good stuff God wants to give her. She’ll only agree to baby steps. Frustratingly cautious baby steps. Until she falls into a God-designed trap and agrees to a huge leap.

Kristi had one of those God moments that she carried with her for what seemed to be no reason at all—until the phone call.

Life on the farm is not always green pastures and fields of daisies. Diana’s story will rip at your heart.

Anita has some poems for you. They read somewhat like Dr. Seuss, but only to soften the subject matter and the trueness of her story.

“My Secret” and “Persistent Love” ought to be required reading for every preteen person—boys and girls alike!

Lara tells stories on her grandmamma because . . . because . . . well because her GG should be a character in a novel.

And Lesley, well she approaches life from an unusual direction, but God has landed her right where she can do some of her best work. Because God is good like that.

A honeymoon for the books. Yep. That’s a good description of Lesa’s 1970s story.

A Real Life Real Ladies book would not be complete without a coming to Jesus story. Dona tells how Jesus pursued her and didn’t give up. And Rita’s “Just Pray” is a story for the woman who doesn’t know what to pray and the one who has prayed a thousand prayers over the same problem and hasn’t seen God’s answer yet.

To the woman who says, “If there is a God, he is not on my side,” get to know the ladies in this book. They want nothing more from the telling of their stories than for you to sense God calling you to his side. They would love to help you take your first step in his direction.

This is the second in a series of Real Life Real Ladies books. Twenty-one women promise to motivate, educate, alleviate or simply entertain with their twenty-eight true and sometimes quite personal stories. No nagging. No preachy lectures. Just stories to remind us that Jesus is ALL there—ALL the time.

Be watching for Real Life. Real Ladies: Mountains, Molehills and the Good Stuff Between to be released. And yes! You are invited to the book release party!

How did I do with my assignment? Let me know.

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